The Guns of Auguste

It is my contention, based on conclusivedotal anecdata, that William Carlos Williams’ “This is Just to Say” is officially the most-parodied poem in history. If you don’t know the poem, you suck, and here it is:

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

After the jump, I’ve decided to collect some of the better specimens of spoof/satire/tribute for posterity.

Two recent ones from the comments at Punkassblog:

This is just to say

I have firebombed
the clinic
that was in
my hometown

at which
you were probably
hoping
to abort.

Forgive me,
but it’s not terrorism
if you’re
a Christian
–Kevin T. Keith

and

This is just to say

I have eaten
the embryos
that were in
the freezer

and which
you were probably
saving
for IVF

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.
–micheyd

In honor of pre-book 6 Harry Potter fan fiction:

This Is Just To Say

I have killed
the wizard
who was in
your novels

and whose death
you were probably
saving
for book seven

Forgive me
he had it coming
so beardy
and so old

And last but by no means least:

This is Just to Say

I have pulled the
Pin from that grenade
On the desk.

Forgive me.
I thought it was
My keyring,
And

–Jason Nicholas

Update: Here’s one more, author unknown:

This is Just to Say

I have invited
the actress
that is on
SVU

and whom
you were probably
hoping to nudge
for breakfast

Forgive me
she was delicious
so fully realized and non-objectified by me
despite appearances to the contrary