The Guns of Auguste

Let’s retrospect, shall we?
(more…)

Absolutely uninspired by recent events:

Dear Mama,

Love from the first Kentucky Pro-trans Rifles. We caught a sight of General Pony’s Transphobe Fusilliers last night, and I naturally thought of Jeb and Betsy, who last I heard were riding with them. It’s a sad thing, this division, and I pray that they and I will be able to return home to the link farm one day, to sit and blog as siblings again.

[Cue Ken Burns music and black and white photo montage]

Are you and father able to keep watch on the property? I know that the wild MRAs and Edenites will be difficult to keep out of the onions*, but this damned war is too important to abandon now. Plus, Captain JackGoff has threatened delinking for any deserter thought to be providing aid and traffic to the enemy.

Please, mama. Don’t worry. I don’t hold any hate in my heart for Jeb and Betsy, or any of the other poor foot-commenters caught up in President Faster’s diabolical anti-trans crusade. I just feel sorry for the loves we left behind. Please give my best to Mariska. One day I will return from this awful kerfuffle and make an honest woman out of her. And by honest, I of course mean no longer allowing her to hide her raw animal attraction to me, Auguste, of The Portland Metropolitan Area, Oregon, which is available by easy JetBlue flight from the set of Law and Order: SVU. I do airport pickups.

But I have digressed. War does funny things to a person’s mind, mama. Please tell father not to worry about me. I have a secret plan to end the war; I shouldn’t write anything in case the courier is waylaid, but let’s just say it involves Photoshop and privilege.

Ever,

Your Son

* P.S. Please send more, as hanging them on our belts is the style of the time.

————

Music swells, Sam Waterston narrates:

Some at the time were quite confused about Private Sarcasticbastard’s dispatch, wondering what the goddamn hell he was talking about and wondering why he didn’t provide any links. Those people were lucky, for the most part.

1. Outkast - She’s Alive
2. Black Mountain - Heart of Snow
3. Parts & Labor - The Endless Air Show
4. Sing Sing - Come, Sing Me a Song
5. The String Quartet - Love Will Tear Us Apart
6. Iron Hero - Wearing a Wire
7. Combustible Edison - The Veldt
8. No Trigger - Earthtones
9. Boyskout - Girl on Girl
10. Laika - Bedbugs

No, not really. Dammit.

From the looks of this story, I may have to send back my t-shirt:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has said he will not renew the licence for the country’s second largest TV channel which he said expired in March 2007…

Radio Caracas Television, which is aligned with the opposition, supported a strike against Mr Chavez in 2003.

But the TV’s head said there must be some mistake as its licence was not up for renewal in the near future.

Marcel Granier also vowed to fight against the president’s plans in Venezuela’s courts and on the international stage.

Well, shit. I mean, being a good liberal, I’m on the Hugo Chavez Marching Orders Yahoo! Group, but I never bargained for the suppression of free speech. Still, if that’s what it takes to help spread the international communist conspiracy, I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it.

Joe Sacco is a frigging genius, and his work feels like the natural result of the “Graphic Novel Renaissance” which I may have just now made up.

But [oh my god I can’t believe I’m about to say something this pretentious] there’s a truth to Sacco’s work that’s not even present in a lot of photojournalism. It’s an amazing medium, he’s an amazing artist, and Palestine is destined for long-term greatness.

Because I have the feeling we’re about to be drenched in wingnut [bodily fluids]:

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, sentenced to death for his role in 148 killings in 1982, will have his sentence carried out by Sunday, NBC News reported Thursday. According to a U.S. military officer who spoke on condition of anonymity, Saddam will be hanged before the start of the Eid religious holiday, which begins this Sunday.

If there was ever a case to be made for the death penalty, Saddam’s probably a prime candidate. I just don’t happen to think there’s a case to be made for the death penalty. And there certainly isn’t a case to be made for the type of chest-thumping, morbid celebration we’re about to be subjected to by the wingers.

Thanks to Ben Shapiro, I’m looking forward to reading “The Audacity of Hope” even more.

These are not the words of a moderate. They are the words of a man who fits right in with his radical base. The hatred for Reagan, Bush and, in particular, the revulsion he feels at traditional religion, is palpable. Those who endorse Obama must look beyond his fraudulent rhetoric before signing off on his agenda.

Hell, I’ll sign off right now. A radical candidate who’s as popular as a mainstream one? Signed, sealed, delivered, I’m Barack’s.

* Amp’s take on The Pursuit of Happyness basically confirm why I don’t plan to see it in the first place.

[The] effort Gardner puts forth in the movie really does seem (as Michael says) superhuman. In the movie2, Gardner had no real friends, no support network, no savings, no home, and a child to take care of. He was pretty much in the situation Hilzoy discusses here — no margin for error, no margin for bad luck.

There are thousands of Americans in that situation. What makes Gardner’s story so unusual — and a good subject for a major Hollywood movie — is that Gardner ended up a millionairre. The far more common story of people who don’t make it, isn’t the story of which major movies are made…

For me, the lesson to take away from “The Pursuit of Happyness” isn’t that anyone can make it in America. Gardner wasn’t “anyone.” He was broke, but he had a natural endowment of intelligence, charm and drive that made him one in ten thousand, or maybe one in a million.
I’s ludicrous to think that “Pursuit of Happyness” shows that anyone can make it; on the contrary, “Pursuit of Happyness” shows that for someone starting with nothing in America, it take a ludicrous amount of talent and drive to pull oneself up.

* In his continuing quest to make us all forget how he wrote two books from inside Bush’s colon, Bob Woodward says that Gerald Ford opposed the Iraq War. Silently.

The Ford interview — and a subsequent lengthy conversation in 2005 — took place for a future book project, though he said his comments could be published at any time after his death…

“Well, I can understand the theory of wanting to free people,” Ford said, referring to Bush’s assertion that the United States has a “duty to free people.” But the former president said he was skeptical “whether you can detach that from the obligation number one, of what’s in our national interest.” He added: “And I just don’t think we should go hellfire damnation around the globe freeing people, unless it is directly related to our own national security.”

* Actual pro-life consistency, in the oddest place. I wonder how the neocon Vatican fans will receive this one?

* Since Kevin Tillman stole his brother from the hawks, they’ve been looking for a new poster boy. Prayers answered, I guess.

Not throwing stones at the man’s sacrifice, just at the war-porn crowd’s salivating over it.

Hey people who watched television other than Arrested Development when it was on:

FUCK YOU.